Life After Death
by Kurosu
Summary: A few strange scenes after the game is over, taking place in the Promised Land.


I don't know what possessed me to write these scenes... and I don't know if you should expect more of this... but I DO know I don't own any of the characters, or else we would ALL be in trouble.  
  
**~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~**  
  
  
**LIFE AFTER DEATH**  
  
written by K-chan  
  
  
**Scene One: A Friendly Game of Cards**  
  
Five people -- one female and four males -- were sitting around a table, playing a friendly card game. All were familiar with each other, and some seemed to hold grudges with a few, but there was one thing they had in common: they were all dead. Yep, these people all died because their destinies had been written in Final Fantasy VII, but that didn't stop them from living the afterlife in the Promised Land... wherever that was.  
  
"Okay, I raise everyone by three chocolate chip cookies," Aeris giggled as she pushed the said cookies to the center of the table.  
  
"Fine, I follow you," Rufus said, "And raise it to five."  
  
"Whew, you guys are seriously hungry!" Zack chuckled, "But I'm still in! How 'bout you, Tseng?" The man just nodded and followed suit, which left on person to decide before opening their hands. They all stare at the final player at the end of the table -- which was impossible because there was no end to a round table! "Well, Sephy?"  
  
He laughed insanely and pushed all his cookies into the pile. "You'll all die!!" he laughed and showed his hand, "TWO PAIRS!!" Everyone just looked at each other and shrugged while Sephiroth urged them to show their cards.  
  
"Your lost, buddy," Zack smiled and showed his cards, "I've got higher pairs than yours." Sephiroth stopped laughing, looking at the cards speechlessly.  
  
Tseng cut in, laying down his cards, "Three of a kind." Sephiroth stood up and stared at Tseng's cards unbelievably.  
  
"Wow, those are good cards," Aeris said amazed as she glanced at her own, "but how about this... Full house." Sephiroth narrowed his eyes at the innocent girl, who smiled and waved at him from across the table.  
  
"Even in death, you guys are loser," Rufus scoffed and laid out his cards, "Royal flush!" That was Sephiroth's cue to rant and rave, pulling out the Masamune and slicing and dicing the cards, cookies, and table like the maniac he still was. The other four just moved their chair back and sat their watching the lunatic freely express his loss.  
  
Tseng sighed and stood up, "I'll get another table."  
  
"Right," Zack agreed, "could you get me a beer while you're at it?"  
  
Rufus glared at Sephiroth, "What a sore loser!" Aeris was busy counting how much cookies she had left until she would have to borrow some from Rufus, who seemed to be lending them out like a cookie bank on loans of owing him favors.  
  
  
  
**Scene Two: Would You Like a Massage?**  
  
Funny how even after death, he could still feel pain, and boy, was his back killing him now. Sephiroth plopped on the couch to ease his back after crouching in the refrigerator for two hours, which was a result of losing a poker game when Zack was involved. He didn't mind the cold temperature so much as the small, cramped space, but that was over with now. He just needed to rest and relax, and some television would be nice. He stuck his hand in between the couch cushions and AMAZINGLY pulled out a remote control!  
  
He was flipping through the thousand channels when Aeris walked by, hauling a truckload of ice cream. She stopped when she realized Sephiroth was sitting there. "Hi, Sephy!" she chirped, "I didn't know the two hours were already over!"  
  
He flinched in pain at the reminder, "Must you speak of that nightmare!"  
  
"I'm sorry... Do you want me to make it all better?"  
  
"There's nothing you can do to make it better!" he grumbled, pouting like a five-year-old child.  
  
"I can give you a massage!" she said excitedly.  
  
"Really?!" he smiled, turning around to her to see... holding a giant mallet in her hand. He sweatdropped, "Err, what's that for?"  
  
"This?" she pointed to the mallet ten times her size and weight, "For your massage, sillie! My massage will leave you feeling better the next day! Guaranteed! Just ask your father, Professor Hojo!"  
  
  
Quick cut to Hojo was all bandaged up from head to toe in bed while Lucrecia was feeding him soup. "Yeah, thanks to Aeris," she grumbled sarcastically, SHOVING a spoonful of hot soup into Hojo's mouth, "he's MUCH better... now that all his senses are NUMB!! And guess WHO has to take care of this bastard?!! Even when I'm DEAD, I still can't get any peace!! That Valentine, when he dies and gets here, I'm gonna show him !#%&*%@$^&*)$^&#..." And she continued to bitch while POURING THE STEAMIN' HOT SOUP down Hojo's mouth, not that it matter since he couldn't feel any pain anymore.  
  
  
Back to Sephiroth and Aeris... where Aeris had single-handed flipped Sephiroth onto his stomach, preparing to give him her ultimate, special, one-of-a-kind, Cetra, total body massage... Sephiroth cowered in fear, praying for something to interrupt the moment. "Hey, Aeris!" came Zack's voice, "Where are we gonna build that ice cream man?"  
  
"Oh! Right!" She climbed off Sephiroth and went back to what she was doing before, but this time, she pushed the truckload of ice cream away as if she had never been interrupted.  
  
  
**~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~**  
  
Strange... the second one was funnier in my head... =¬.¬=  



End file.
